Girl + Computer = ?

fuckyeahemotionallyvolatilebear:

[Picture shows a background split into a spiral of 8 different colours. Clockwise: light purple, dark brown, dark purple, light brown, dark brown, light purple, light brown, dark purple. In the middle of the picture is a brown bear shown from waist up while standing. The bear’s mouth is wide open and its paws are raised. There is text on the top and bottom. Top text says: “Don’t understand something in class” Bottom text says: “Oncoming emotional breakdown”]

Probably one of the most isolating feelings I have in my computer science classes is the feeling of not understanding a concept. Since a lot of the people I know in these classes seem to pick up the information rather easily - and honestly, I seem to also, in some regard - I feel really embarrassed and humiliated admitting if I don’t understand something. I can be an extremely emotional person, so often times feeling humiliated can quickly turn into something worse like crying. 

There’s this sense of one-up-man-ship that happens in our department that I’m not sure if I’m imagining or not. I feel like there’s some casual friendship in the classroom every now and then, but from my point of view a lot of it seems to revolve around technology talk and not necessarily about ourselves.
Sometimes I wonder how most of the guys in my classes would react to someone exposing their worries and weaknesses - especially me.